the good, the bad, the really bad, and progression.

I wish I was happy...Oh and Dave Navarro is incredibly Sexy

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I just got out of the shower and I'm feeling really calm...I think the feeling you have after you get out of the shower, or for me anyway, is one of the best feelings there is, one of complete cleanliness. I died my hair so dark it's almost black...and honestly I've never in my life felt cooler (it was blonde). I don't believe I'll ever go back to another color...and plus I've discovered the color black looks about 10 times better on me now with my dark coif therefore I've been rocking alot of black shirts paired with black pants so I guess that makes me kinda a pseudo-goth, but not really. I think I may get to play the tamberine with these 2 friends of mine at this little coffee house when they play their guitars there next week so needless to say I'm pretty psyched, it's like getting the feelings and respect of playing an instrument and being in a band without all of the talent, so I guess I shouldn't feel that great actually. Oh well...I've been watching way too much Forensic Files lately, that has got to be my new latest addiction along with all of those other related shows on Court tv like The Investigators and Cold Cases, etc. But on some channel (not court tv) today there was some profile of the mind of a psychopath and it was very interesting, they interviewed actual psycopaths and explained why they said the things they said, my addiction to watching that kind of stuff makes me wonder if I'm a psychopath but then I disregard it b/c for one thing they have no consciences, and I definately do possess one of those. But I guess it's just my pure interest in psychology that makes me love that stuff, because see, I have a plan. First of all I want to be a child therapist/psychologist. And I figure, if I can help people while they're young and before they hit adulthood or teenager-hood, then there will be less adults in the world that are nuts...I think it's a pretty good little plan anyway b/c most of peoples' hangups in life or reasons for doing the things they do and acting the way they act derives from something that did or didn't happen in there childhood.

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OK so it's been a really long time since my last post. So I'm up tonight, it's 3:52 in the am and I can't sleep...or eat, and I'm starving!! I'm having some tests done at the doctor's tomorrow to get my hormone levels and you're not supposed to eat after midnight. So I'm on fall break now and so far it's been decent. Today a bunch of my friends are coming over and we're going to play monopoly...how sad right? This town's so small though that that's actually considered an event of sort, I think it's starting to create a little buzz. Ok well I'm just now realizing that I have absolutely nothing to blog about so that's probably why I haven't in so long...b/c my life is so incredibly uneventful. Which is a good thing in a way...but not really, I want some events. Just not bad depressing ones, but I guess it's my fault...I need to be more of a risk-taker and go-getter according to my 9th grade career orientation class. And I also think most people are kinda stupid so I don't bother interacting with alot of them...it's just a waste of my time, I'd rather talk to someone who makes good use of there human beingness. I've decided that to like a person, they have to fall into atleast 1 of 2 categories. They either have to have good taste in music (according to my tastes) or have a sense of humor, like a good one. Oh I also like really opinionated people but that's just because I am and I like to argue with people who know what they're talking about and who don't give in easily otherwise it's just boring. So I personally think I fall into both of those categories, but It would be kinda sad if i didn't and expected that of others.

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