A Little Bit O' Nothin
I've been pretty out of it since last night, I can't for the life of me relax and just sit and not worry about shit. It's so irritating. Me and this guy went to see Flightplan yesterday, a guy that I do not like for more than friends by the way...I just don't find him sexually attractive in any way, which is a must, I can't even picture myself kissing this guy. I still think about A. from time to time though I wish I could stop. I've dropped so many classes at colleg that I'm now just a part time student, but hey, it's better than dropping out completely which is what i'd honestly love to do. Hey on the positive I did a little weed last night that was nice, it was my 2nd time, the first was a total disaster, but after finally getting passed my first hellacious experience with it decided what the heck. It was so great, I must say, I was surprised. I was just barely high, it was just right. I miss my friends. and college sucks.
Love, me.
2003
Dear Diary:
Friday, it was so much fun. It was the day of the homecoming parade at school. We spent about 10 minutes in each class. It was a great day, but I’ll just skip to what I really want to write about. Ok, Friday night, K and I went to the game. Me, her, E, and E’s sister, H all sat kind of secluded from everyone else on the bleachers, we just didn’t want to sit with anybody. I was supposed to go rolling yards with B and N and some other people after the game. But we all got to talking and I decided I’d rather not go with B and N for obvious reasons. We decided we were going to try and get some alcoholic beverages. So, I called A, yes A, and I ask him if he would get us some. I couldn’t really here him because of all the yelling, so he told me to call him back. So I waited about 15 minutes and went down near the bathrooms and called him back. He told me he would, I didn’t even have to ask him again or anything. He asked me what quarter it was at the game and then I heard him tell somebody. So I figured he was getting ready to come. He told me he’d call me back. Yay! So, I saw him at the opposite end of the bleachers but I didn’t get up right away. I still had to go tell B that I wasn’t going with her. So, I waited til half time and made up some story and told her I couldn’t go. I saw A sitting up there when I was walking away, but R was sitting by him so I just acted like I didn’t. Then, after half time when R went back to cheer he called me. Neither of us could hear the other so I just walked over to where he was sitting and sat in front of him. As I was walking up there we both smiled and waved at each other. So, like I said, I sat in front of him. He asked if we were going to Jackson and I wasn’t planning on it but I just said yeah. He asked if I was riding with him and I told him I was and he said good. So we left the game and while we were walking out we both put our arms around each other and walked towards my car. I ended up driving because he was sort of drunk, and I really didn’t want him driving all the way to Jackson. So as we were walking he told me that I’d been acting so weird towards him lately, I told him I know and that I’m sorry but I’ve just been going through a lot lately, which is the truth. So we got in the car, and right as I was leaving R called him, or I’m pretty sure it was her. He got out of the car to talk to her so I really don’t know what they were talking about but I’m pretty sure she saw us leave together so it probably had something to do with that. So, we finally got to leave and on our way there he kept grabbing my hand and wouldn’t let it go for the majority of the way there. And the song The First Cut Is The Deepest came on the radio, and he was still holding my hand and he turned it up and asked me who it made me think of. I told him that I didn’t know, he said "are they in this car?" Ha ha! So I never actually told him, but I think he thinks him. He wouldn’t tell me who he thought of but I’m pretty sure it’s me or he wouldn’t have brought it up and made such a big deal about it. So we talked a lot the rest of the way there. He kept grabbing my hand and we held hands pretty much the whole way there. I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about but somehow it got on the subject of me talking about how I wouldn’t ever date any of the guys in our school. He said, "Not one?", I told him no and that they were all gross. He said, "Zero?" I said, "Well, I dated you." Stressing the word ‘dated’. He said "But would you again?" I told him I didn’t know. When we were talking about that he grabbed my hand again and held it tightly with our fingers intertwined and asked me if it was okay if he held it, it was so sweet. I laughed and "Yeah, this is in my comfort zone." At some point before he grabbed my hand, though, his hand touched my upper leg, almost my inner thigh. I’m not gonna lie, I liked it, ha ha! When we got to the alcohol store, the one my Market Place we went inside and we put our arms around each other twice and walked around in the store that way. He was kind of walking sideways, and I kept laughing and telling him to please stop acting drunk. Then when we got outside I was telling him about that ugly guy that worked there hitting on me, and he put his arm around me as we were walking to my Jeep. When we got in it, he was talking about he did this just for me and how he’s making about 10 people mad at him right now for cancelling plans just to come up here with me because he cares about me that much. I thanked him and he kept talking about it, and he said he just wants some gratification, and then I asked him what he wanted, know I wanted him to kiss me. He told me just a hug, so I leaned over and we were both hugging each other really good and as I was telling him how good he smelled he leaned in and gave me a really good kiss. He tasted so good, I think he was chewing cinnamon gum.
