september 2, 2008

today is tuesday. i still have my job. i tried to get fired. i didn't call or show up for 5 days. okay, okay. silly, i know. i'm going in for an interview tomorrow (hopefully) at this place i'd really like to work at, possibly as a 2nd job. that would be really nice. i wish i had nice, happy, important thoughts to share with everyone in these blogs. the truth is, i save up every bad thought and spill it out in this. it's annonymous and no one that loves me or that i have to see on a daily basis is judging me. while i do appreciate comments and "tmails." i'm slowly losing faith in humanity. i don't know how to escape anymore. there's so much bad around me. seems like the only place i have peace in the privacy of my own bedroom. people are just vicious. i don't understand why you would want to hurt someone's feelings purely in attempt to make yourself feel better. i'm aware that i may forever be some form of depressed and have general anxiety which at times can feel like a handicap. i'm dealing. i'm digging out of the hole. it's taking years. the hole started out so small. my shovel got bigger and the hole got deeper. the hole that i dug now lies within my conscience and heart. i don't know who to trust anymore. i don't. do you really trust anyone? i meet people. i have people i've known for years. it hurts when you're not allowed to be friends with people you became close to through a past relationship, due to the fact that you were introduced through the person. oh, my. ...sigh.