why henry drinks

i started my day at about 7:10 this morning. threw my very dirty work clothes in the wash and ventured to my nearest mcdonald's to take advantage of a free iced coffee...i got coupons in the mail yesterday and really get excited over coupons, no joke. i went into work today at 10:30 to a very excited manager of mine. we got fresh alaskan king crab legs today. they were just caught the 23rd of this month and you can only catch them 8 days out of the year and they're amazingly delicious. anywho, a party of 12 that was scheduled called and cancelled and business wasn't looking good as far as the lunch crowd so i volunteered myself to leave so my fellow server could possibly make some decent money and give me a chance to run some errands i'd been meaning to run. i feel excited, well...slightly excited. i decided once and for all to stop drinking and to do away with everything and anyone bad from my past. i'm dead-set on it this time and i'm rather proud of myself. i don't know why i drink, or shall i say drank. the thought of it disgusts me. the feeling i get the next morning. i'm not even referring to the possible hangover, it's more a feeling of guilt and disgust toward myself because i know what i'm capable of. and drinking made me feel like a bad person. like i was just messing up my life horribly, and in a sense i was. it's done damage enough and nothing can be better for me (and others) than stopping before i just felt like a complete waste. i am already in a "bouncing-back" state of mind which is nice, i must say. i don't feel so gross and just well, ashamed of myself. i have made so many horrible alcohol-induced decisions. oh, wow...i really have. the guys, the things i dont remember, things i remember saying or doing and regretting during the sober daytime that followed. the possible lives i've put at risk is just absolutely revolting to me. there's been nights when i drove home (30 minutes give or take) on the highway and would wake up in my bed the next morning and have no recollection of getting there. meaning i was basically blackout drunk while i was driving home. pretty shitty/scary huh? the thought of going to a bar or buying a bottle of liquor sickens me for the first time. i have no desire to. i love being sober. i love this feeling. a feeling of hope and knowing that i can. it's priceless. i wouldn't trade anything for it. not to mention the natural health benefits that come with not having hard liquor in your system on a nightly basis. it's the beginning of something new for me and i can't wait. it didn't take therapy or rehab or anything of that nature to get me to come to my senses. i think that makes me proud of myself. well, i go back into work at 4:30. god bless you all and have a great afternoon. <3.>